Post by wildsky on Mar 13, 2014 6:13:38 GMT
So, I've noticed that dialogue is something that can be a bit difficult to pull off in RP. This goes for me too, but I'm hoping that my general rambling will help some people! I've split it up into three sections: “Story Dialogue”, “RP Dialogue”, and “General Grammatical Tips”. Story Dialogue is mostly used for stories and RP Dialogue is mostly used for RP. General Grammatical Tips is for everything.
Because I'm completely terrible at responses, I'm just gonna start talking now.
The first part of making “good dialogue” is making sure that your dialogue says what you want it to. If I'm trying to figure out how to get everything out, I'll just write it all down. That helps me the most because I can just figure out the extra bits after that.
As you can see, the post above looks like dialogue, but it feels a bit cramped. There should be pauses where there are none, and it seems as if he's going on a theatrical rant. It works, but not perfectly.
After that, you may want to add the response to that (if you're writing a story instead of an RP reply) and finish up the detail for the first part. These two steps can often be done at the same time, and I only really separate them if I'm having trouble getting all of the words out. It's easier to add the motions in after you know what they're going to say.
There! It looks much more like a piece of writing now than just a crazy man ranting. You have motions as to what he's doing, as well as setting the scene slightly. These slight details during the dialogue can be hard to figure out where they go, but just play around with it. It's not too important, all things considered.
Next, you want to add the reply in. You can repeat steps 1-2, though with consideration to respond to what the person has done. This, again, should be fairly simple. If you're not sure how to word it, just break it up like before.
Now we're getting to the point where it looks like a reasonable conversation*. (That's not to say the people involved are reasonable. [shhh, I have a thing for morally ambiguous characters]) The most important thing to take from this is that you always need to have a new line describing a new person speaking.**
Next, you don't always have to state who is doing the talking.*** Additionally, you don't always have to add these superfluous details in. Sometimes it flows better without those details than with them. Particularly when it's rather short.
Realize that it doesn't always have to be as short as above. Sometimes it can be an entire line or even a few sentences. Just as long as the person in question is going to be saying all of it in about one or two breaths. Otherwise, you should break it up. (If there's someone who is intentionally saying everything in one or two breaths, despite it sounding strange/rushed, then it's sometimes better to state that. That way you won't have any readers assuming that he's pausing where he's not.)
Writing dialogue during fight scenes is difficult, and I know that I certainly haven't perfected it. However, what I can say is do it in the opposite order as steps 1-2. Write what's going on in the fight first because that's what's being focused on, then put in the dialogue where applicable. It wouldn't make sense for your protagonist to shout something as he's trying to sneak a sword into the back of the antagonist.
Another thing I did there was omit any sign of who was talking. While it may have been confusing slightly, it was fairly understandable due to context. Part of the context comes from what is actually being said – Michael would not be saying any of these things. However, it also comes from the fact that it is Frederic who is taking the motions. It wouldn't make too much sense for you to describe Frederic's motions and then have Michael speak.****
*Please, please do not be afraid to just use “said”. Yeah, other words such as asked, inquired, shouted, yell, whimpered, murmured, whisper, stated, exclaimed, etc. have a purpose, but do not overuse any of those words. “Said”, “ask”, and perhaps “stated” are the go to words when you aren't trying to describe anything special.
**There are a very few situations when you might want to put two in one paragraph. For instance, if your character is mentally referencing something before he/she says something, then that's acceptable, so long as it's not actually being said. When in doubt, just use a new line. It's better to have two lines and it be a bit off than to shove everything in one line and be very wrong.
***If are wondering whether to omit it because you've been using it a lot instead of because it's understand, just use it. If it's for an RP, then don't worry so much about it being top-notch quality. RP is, after all, a bunch of first drafts being thrown together. However, if this is for a novel, then you should also use it, but make a note to go back to that section during editing! Figure out where it's necessary and where it's not, and take it out as needed. If you need it somewhere but it feels a bit clunky, don't try to fix that area all the time, look at everything else to see if you can make the rest of it less clunky.
****This is somewhat subjective. If you're in doubt, simply state who it is. Clarity is far more important than making sure it's pretty. However, be careful about describing one person's motions and then having another person speak. It doesn't always make sense. If you really can't tell, just let it be and move on. Editing is always easier when you know what the future is written like.
RP Dialogue is a bit different to story dialogue. The most notable difference is that you are replying to everything all at once, instead of having a normal conversation. This can lead to quite a few weird moments, as well as issues with pacing. These are simply the general rules that I go by, and by no means are you required to use them. I suggest figuring out what works for you and whomever you're RPing with.
The post below is the one that I have responded to in the past, and I will go through my thought process during my response. As you can see, it's fairly dialogue heavy, with little actual movement between, so that's something that I will talk about afterward. (It's a longish post, so I apologize for that.)
Now, there were a lot of words actually spoken there. First, I'll go over the general process of what to reply to first and whatnot. Then I'll actually talk about how I connected everything and all of that fun stuff.
The first and most important that I try to do is never have a “conversation string” (as I like to call it) continue for too long. This is when you have a back and forth about something in particular, instead of letting the conversation evolve. Know when to drop something and when your character would have something important to say about that. When you're in a heavy dialogue moment, there is such a thing as too many words.
After that, I have to find the spot where I believe my character (Anton) will respond to. We have a certain level of assumption here, but also a few requirements. Opal has given me all of the words that Cedric will speak during that time, and I can't say anything that will particularly make Cedric stop in his tracks and say something different. If I do need to say something like that, I should put it near the end of my post, as I need to give Opal room to reply to. The easiest way to do that is to just make a small note in your post that it irked/bothered/whatever you character and to bring it up afterward.
To find the spot where I think Anton will reply to, I have to find the first thing that actually requires a response. After I've found that, I can look through the dialogue to see if there's anything above that which my character would specifically reply to. If not, that's the first thing that I do with my character's dialogue.
The part that I felt was in most need of a reply was the ”As for the second...” line. (Ninth paragraph.) To reply, I simply found a spot where Opal paused so I could get whatever I needed in, and threw something in there. This is what I posted.
Nothing too fancy. As per my typical style, there's a lot of introspection. If you don't have this particular style, then that little point above would be a bit shorter for you. I do suggest a bit of introspection, though, as it can reveal to the other RPer what you plan to do with the thread, which is extremely helpful for knowing what is okay to post and what isn't okay to post.
Next, we move onto the next part which needs replying. ”You have, I think, a very deep...” (Fifteenth paragraph, third from last.)
This was my response.
The first thing I do is introspect. That, again, is just my style of writing. You can place your actual words first and then attach any extra meaning to them afterward, or put the meaning before, or have extra thoughts bouncing around in your character's head, or speak of what your character wants to say but is too afraid to, etc., etc.
This is basically the same as the previous response. There is something to note, here. I said something that was more than just a simple response, which requires another reply from Cedric. This is the beginning of a “conversation string”. They are going to happen often, and they're actually quite fine to have. Just make sure that the other parts of your conversation stay close to the same point as your conversation string until you end it, as evolving the rest of the conversation will create two separate points in time that you're replying to, and that's gets super awkward really quickly.
Finally, after all of that is done, I can add whatever I feel Anton would say. You can add any type of special thing that relates to what Anton would say, though general movement (such as walking through streets or something) should be something that you mention throughout the entire post, so you know how quickly time is moving in the post. That's important for the other person, as well.
Again, I have a lot of introspection. This is just what I do, and you are by no means required to do the same thing. I personally feel like it adds to the quality of my posts, but that's simply because it feels very natural for me to write. If you prefer other things, then do that. There is something to note about all of this: you can't have simply movement or simply introspection. You need something to go along with the introspection, as otherwise the other person will be unable to respond to it, and you need some introspection to go along with your movement, as otherwise the other person will have too much to respond to and not enough meaning with all of those things.
I mention something very short, though that's Anton's personality. If your character is someone who is more social, then you can add more. You can also change the placement of it – it doesn't have to be after all of your movement is done. Just try to put it where it makes the most sense. Here, I felt like it would be best at the end because Anton would want to display his skills before Cedric replied.
And that's the entirety of my post! I'll put it all together at the bottom, so you can see what it looks like completed. Alternatively, you can go to this thread. It should bring you to the point that we began. If not, then that's really terrible and PM me so everyone else doesn't have to go through that.
It can get a bit weird when using pronouns. For instance, '”So, do you like rabbits?” he asked,' may seem a bit weird for some people to write. So I'll give you the general tips for what to do with the ending punctuation and the first word (capitalised/not capitalised)
*I cannot find any reliable source for these. These are only my personal rules. If you find something that directly contradicts this and is a reliable source (i.e., Purdue OWL or Oxford website or something), PM me with that please! Thank you!
Because I'm just as bad at conclusions as I am introductions, how about I just hit the go button? I mean, you're just going to be seeing this at the end anyway. Thanks for reading!
Because I'm completely terrible at responses, I'm just gonna start talking now.
Story Dialogue
The first part of making “good dialogue” is making sure that your dialogue says what you want it to. If I'm trying to figure out how to get everything out, I'll just write it all down. That helps me the most because I can just figure out the extra bits after that.
First Draft:
“I am the slayer of gods and the creator of fear; I am the sin that you have tried to dissolve. You think that you can honestly fight me? You think that can honestly prevent me from killing you? You are insane! You are unworthy. You... You will die.”
“I am the slayer of gods and the creator of fear; I am the sin that you have tried to dissolve. You think that you can honestly fight me? You think that can honestly prevent me from killing you? You are insane! You are unworthy. You... You will die.”
As you can see, the post above looks like dialogue, but it feels a bit cramped. There should be pauses where there are none, and it seems as if he's going on a theatrical rant. It works, but not perfectly.
After that, you may want to add the response to that (if you're writing a story instead of an RP reply) and finish up the detail for the first part. These two steps can often be done at the same time, and I only really separate them if I'm having trouble getting all of the words out. It's easier to add the motions in after you know what they're going to say.
Second Draft:
“I am the slayer of gods and the creator of fear; I am the sin that you have tried to dissolve.” The cloaked man slipped his hood off and grinned madly, eyes gleaming from the Star of Ihvanr. “You think that you can honestly fight me? You think that can honestly prevent me from killing you?” He let a laugh echo through the room where far too many corpses lie. “You are insane! You are unworthy. You... You will die.”
“I am the slayer of gods and the creator of fear; I am the sin that you have tried to dissolve.” The cloaked man slipped his hood off and grinned madly, eyes gleaming from the Star of Ihvanr. “You think that you can honestly fight me? You think that can honestly prevent me from killing you?” He let a laugh echo through the room where far too many corpses lie. “You are insane! You are unworthy. You... You will die.”
There! It looks much more like a piece of writing now than just a crazy man ranting. You have motions as to what he's doing, as well as setting the scene slightly. These slight details during the dialogue can be hard to figure out where they go, but just play around with it. It's not too important, all things considered.
Next, you want to add the reply in. You can repeat steps 1-2, though with consideration to respond to what the person has done. This, again, should be fairly simple. If you're not sure how to word it, just break it up like before.
Third Draft:
“I am the slayer of gods and the creator of fear; I am the sin that you have tried to dissolve.” The cloaked man slipped his hood off and grinned madly, eyes gleaming from the Star of Ihvanr. “You think that you can honestly fight me? You think that can honestly prevent me from killing you?” He let a laugh echo through the room where far too many corpses lie. “You are insane! You are unworthy. You... You will die.”
“Your strength left you when you abandoned the Temple, Frederic,” Michael shouted, standing before the Star of Ihvanr. “You will die just as every other invader has. Your fallen body will be laid to rest in the Mausoleum of the Fallen, and you... You will be remembered as another Priest who forgot Ihvanr.” The man in robes placed his hands around the body of his staff and thrust it onto the stone floor.
“I am the slayer of gods and the creator of fear; I am the sin that you have tried to dissolve.” The cloaked man slipped his hood off and grinned madly, eyes gleaming from the Star of Ihvanr. “You think that you can honestly fight me? You think that can honestly prevent me from killing you?” He let a laugh echo through the room where far too many corpses lie. “You are insane! You are unworthy. You... You will die.”
“Your strength left you when you abandoned the Temple, Frederic,” Michael shouted, standing before the Star of Ihvanr. “You will die just as every other invader has. Your fallen body will be laid to rest in the Mausoleum of the Fallen, and you... You will be remembered as another Priest who forgot Ihvanr.” The man in robes placed his hands around the body of his staff and thrust it onto the stone floor.
Now we're getting to the point where it looks like a reasonable conversation*. (That's not to say the people involved are reasonable. [shhh, I have a thing for morally ambiguous characters]) The most important thing to take from this is that you always need to have a new line describing a new person speaking.**
Next, you don't always have to state who is doing the talking.*** Additionally, you don't always have to add these superfluous details in. Sometimes it flows better without those details than with them. Particularly when it's rather short.
Fourth Draft:
“I am the slayer of gods and the creator of fear; I am the sin that you have tried to dissolve.” The cloaked man slipped his hood off and grinned madly, eyes gleaming from the Star of Ihvanr. “You think that you can honestly fight me? You think that can honestly prevent me from killing you?” He let a laugh echo through the room where far too many corpses lie. “You are insane! You are unworthy. You... You will die.”
“Your strength left you when you abandoned the Temple, Frederic,” Michael shouted, standing before the Star of Ihvanr. “You will die just as every other invader has. Your fallen body will be laid to rest in the Mausoleum of the Fallen, and you... You will be remembered as another Priest who forgot Ihvanr.” The man in robes placed his hands around the body of his staff and thrust it onto the stone floor.
“Then die.”
“I am the slayer of gods and the creator of fear; I am the sin that you have tried to dissolve.” The cloaked man slipped his hood off and grinned madly, eyes gleaming from the Star of Ihvanr. “You think that you can honestly fight me? You think that can honestly prevent me from killing you?” He let a laugh echo through the room where far too many corpses lie. “You are insane! You are unworthy. You... You will die.”
“Your strength left you when you abandoned the Temple, Frederic,” Michael shouted, standing before the Star of Ihvanr. “You will die just as every other invader has. Your fallen body will be laid to rest in the Mausoleum of the Fallen, and you... You will be remembered as another Priest who forgot Ihvanr.” The man in robes placed his hands around the body of his staff and thrust it onto the stone floor.
“Then die.”
Realize that it doesn't always have to be as short as above. Sometimes it can be an entire line or even a few sentences. Just as long as the person in question is going to be saying all of it in about one or two breaths. Otherwise, you should break it up. (If there's someone who is intentionally saying everything in one or two breaths, despite it sounding strange/rushed, then it's sometimes better to state that. That way you won't have any readers assuming that he's pausing where he's not.)
Writing dialogue during fight scenes is difficult, and I know that I certainly haven't perfected it. However, what I can say is do it in the opposite order as steps 1-2. Write what's going on in the fight first because that's what's being focused on, then put in the dialogue where applicable. It wouldn't make sense for your protagonist to shout something as he's trying to sneak a sword into the back of the antagonist.
Fifth Draft:
“I am the slayer of gods and the creator of fear; I am the sin that you have tried to dissolve.” The cloaked man slipped his hood off and grinned madly, eyes gleaming from the Star of Ihvanr. “You think that you can honestly fight me? You think that can honestly prevent me from killing you?” He let a laugh echo through the room where far too many corpses lie. “You are insane! You are unworthy. You... You will die.”
“Your strength left you when you abandoned the Temple, Frederic,” Michael shouted, standing before the Star of Ihvanr. “You will die just as every other invader has. Your fallen body will be laid to rest in the Mausoleum of the Fallen, and you... You will be remembered as another Priest who forgot Ihvanr.” The man in robes placed his hands around the body of his staff and thrust it onto the stone floor.
“Then die.”
Frederic took his sword from his sheath and thrust it into the air, his body flying through the air, being carried by the surge of energy that knocked the robed man to his knees, the sword now piercing Michael's chest. “For my life is not Ihvanr's plaything. My life is my own, and I will not sacrifice it for your god's disgusting desires.”
The blade quickly came out of the man's chest, only to be thrust through Michael's body once more, just above the collar bone. “You will be the one who will die, and I will too. But it will be your be your kind who dies first.”
“I am the slayer of gods and the creator of fear; I am the sin that you have tried to dissolve.” The cloaked man slipped his hood off and grinned madly, eyes gleaming from the Star of Ihvanr. “You think that you can honestly fight me? You think that can honestly prevent me from killing you?” He let a laugh echo through the room where far too many corpses lie. “You are insane! You are unworthy. You... You will die.”
“Your strength left you when you abandoned the Temple, Frederic,” Michael shouted, standing before the Star of Ihvanr. “You will die just as every other invader has. Your fallen body will be laid to rest in the Mausoleum of the Fallen, and you... You will be remembered as another Priest who forgot Ihvanr.” The man in robes placed his hands around the body of his staff and thrust it onto the stone floor.
“Then die.”
Frederic took his sword from his sheath and thrust it into the air, his body flying through the air, being carried by the surge of energy that knocked the robed man to his knees, the sword now piercing Michael's chest. “For my life is not Ihvanr's plaything. My life is my own, and I will not sacrifice it for your god's disgusting desires.”
The blade quickly came out of the man's chest, only to be thrust through Michael's body once more, just above the collar bone. “You will be the one who will die, and I will too. But it will be your be your kind who dies first.”
Another thing I did there was omit any sign of who was talking. While it may have been confusing slightly, it was fairly understandable due to context. Part of the context comes from what is actually being said – Michael would not be saying any of these things. However, it also comes from the fact that it is Frederic who is taking the motions. It wouldn't make too much sense for you to describe Frederic's motions and then have Michael speak.****
*Please, please do not be afraid to just use “said”. Yeah, other words such as asked, inquired, shouted, yell, whimpered, murmured, whisper, stated, exclaimed, etc. have a purpose, but do not overuse any of those words. “Said”, “ask”, and perhaps “stated” are the go to words when you aren't trying to describe anything special.
**There are a very few situations when you might want to put two in one paragraph. For instance, if your character is mentally referencing something before he/she says something, then that's acceptable, so long as it's not actually being said. When in doubt, just use a new line. It's better to have two lines and it be a bit off than to shove everything in one line and be very wrong.
***If are wondering whether to omit it because you've been using it a lot instead of because it's understand, just use it. If it's for an RP, then don't worry so much about it being top-notch quality. RP is, after all, a bunch of first drafts being thrown together. However, if this is for a novel, then you should also use it, but make a note to go back to that section during editing! Figure out where it's necessary and where it's not, and take it out as needed. If you need it somewhere but it feels a bit clunky, don't try to fix that area all the time, look at everything else to see if you can make the rest of it less clunky.
****This is somewhat subjective. If you're in doubt, simply state who it is. Clarity is far more important than making sure it's pretty. However, be careful about describing one person's motions and then having another person speak. It doesn't always make sense. If you really can't tell, just let it be and move on. Editing is always easier when you know what the future is written like.
RP Dialogue
RP Dialogue is a bit different to story dialogue. The most notable difference is that you are replying to everything all at once, instead of having a normal conversation. This can lead to quite a few weird moments, as well as issues with pacing. These are simply the general rules that I go by, and by no means are you required to use them. I suggest figuring out what works for you and whomever you're RPing with.
The post below is the one that I have responded to in the past, and I will go through my thought process during my response. As you can see, it's fairly dialogue heavy, with little actual movement between, so that's something that I will talk about afterward. (It's a longish post, so I apologize for that.)
"Drink. And while we're at it, I have... Questions."
Cedric nodded. That seemed like a reasonable path. "Straightforward answers are not my specialty, but I'll try." He couldn't deny Anton's right to some questions being answered. So long as he didn't stray towards official secrets--but Ced had probably given him more pressing matters to worry about.
They took a brief stroll to a conveniently located nearby restaurant. Although Cedric did not discriminate against pubs, the majority of the mourners would probably be on their way there and he really didn't want to deal with the crowd right now. He doubted Anton did either. Besides, some of the answers that he might possibly have to give shouldn't be for everyone's ears, and Cedric was well and experienced with people listening in at pubs. No, a restaurant would be better. Besides, this one seemed to be rather high-quality--much more suited to the Vetr's tastes in alcohol, and he saw no reason not to offer Anton a chance to indulge.
Normally it might be a bit creepy, but this was Ced's new Tiro. Such an occasion demanded a bit of pomp. Besides, his aforementioned new Tiro's former mentor had just kicked the bucket.
Striding in, Cedric requested a private room of the waiter. Although this place wasn't nearly as fancy as his usual haunts (gourmet restaurants were hard to come upon in surface villages, even those as well-protected as this one), they still appeared to have a private room for the two.
After thanking the waiter and receiving his menu, Cedric tossed it to the table and leaned forward in his chair, propping up his elbows and interlacing his fingers before resting his head on them and raising an eyebrow at Anton.
He was quickly assaulted with a series of long, but completely necessary, questions. Indeed, as he'd anticipated, Anton was more concerned with pressing matters than prying into the secrets that Cedric kept locked in the rattly attic of his mind.
Ced paused to gather his thoughts quickly. "In regards to your first question. It'd be foolish of me to place you anywhere else. As you said, your potential lies with the Slayers, and to deny that would be to damage the Drakonrhedi as well as your chances of survival.
"As for the second..." The Vetr gave a quick chuckle. "Despite my busy schedule of alternatively messing about with people and messing with people, I will be able to make time to teach you. That's kind of the point. As you may have noticed, however, our magic type does not match; this is a small obstacle. I will find a Pryfektus who will be able to teach the level of sophistication you require, whereas I will tutor you in more theoretical aspects that apply to all fields, as well as rune magic."
Missions... Ced paused again, absentmindedly biting a lower lip as he readjusted himself in his chair, smoothing the tablecloth with his hands.
"Well."
There was a moment's pause, and Cedric's usual joking manner leaked back into him for a moment, trickling to condense in a sly spark in his eyes.
"You can always hang out at pubs with me."
The grin faded, the serious composure returned to the Vetr.
"You have, I think, a very deep understanding of magic for one of your training level, which is unusual in and of itself. However, while your talent is obviously present and theoretically you understand the concepts, you lack much of the experience necessary for successful practical applications. As such, I'd think that lower-risk missions would first be... prudent, I suppose. I have a limited concept of your physical combat capabilities, but I would assume that Svana did a fairly good job with you."
He paused for a moment to draw breath.
"Once I see enough improvement that I can trust you to not die, I'll advance you to slightly more dangerous missions. Repeat as necessary, etcetera, so on and so forth. If you do well enough, I don't see why I can't graduate you early, if you're up to it."
Cedric nodded. That seemed like a reasonable path. "Straightforward answers are not my specialty, but I'll try." He couldn't deny Anton's right to some questions being answered. So long as he didn't stray towards official secrets--but Ced had probably given him more pressing matters to worry about.
They took a brief stroll to a conveniently located nearby restaurant. Although Cedric did not discriminate against pubs, the majority of the mourners would probably be on their way there and he really didn't want to deal with the crowd right now. He doubted Anton did either. Besides, some of the answers that he might possibly have to give shouldn't be for everyone's ears, and Cedric was well and experienced with people listening in at pubs. No, a restaurant would be better. Besides, this one seemed to be rather high-quality--much more suited to the Vetr's tastes in alcohol, and he saw no reason not to offer Anton a chance to indulge.
Normally it might be a bit creepy, but this was Ced's new Tiro. Such an occasion demanded a bit of pomp. Besides, his aforementioned new Tiro's former mentor had just kicked the bucket.
Striding in, Cedric requested a private room of the waiter. Although this place wasn't nearly as fancy as his usual haunts (gourmet restaurants were hard to come upon in surface villages, even those as well-protected as this one), they still appeared to have a private room for the two.
After thanking the waiter and receiving his menu, Cedric tossed it to the table and leaned forward in his chair, propping up his elbows and interlacing his fingers before resting his head on them and raising an eyebrow at Anton.
He was quickly assaulted with a series of long, but completely necessary, questions. Indeed, as he'd anticipated, Anton was more concerned with pressing matters than prying into the secrets that Cedric kept locked in the rattly attic of his mind.
Ced paused to gather his thoughts quickly. "In regards to your first question. It'd be foolish of me to place you anywhere else. As you said, your potential lies with the Slayers, and to deny that would be to damage the Drakonrhedi as well as your chances of survival.
"As for the second..." The Vetr gave a quick chuckle. "Despite my busy schedule of alternatively messing about with people and messing with people, I will be able to make time to teach you. That's kind of the point. As you may have noticed, however, our magic type does not match; this is a small obstacle. I will find a Pryfektus who will be able to teach the level of sophistication you require, whereas I will tutor you in more theoretical aspects that apply to all fields, as well as rune magic."
Missions... Ced paused again, absentmindedly biting a lower lip as he readjusted himself in his chair, smoothing the tablecloth with his hands.
"Well."
There was a moment's pause, and Cedric's usual joking manner leaked back into him for a moment, trickling to condense in a sly spark in his eyes.
"You can always hang out at pubs with me."
The grin faded, the serious composure returned to the Vetr.
"You have, I think, a very deep understanding of magic for one of your training level, which is unusual in and of itself. However, while your talent is obviously present and theoretically you understand the concepts, you lack much of the experience necessary for successful practical applications. As such, I'd think that lower-risk missions would first be... prudent, I suppose. I have a limited concept of your physical combat capabilities, but I would assume that Svana did a fairly good job with you."
He paused for a moment to draw breath.
"Once I see enough improvement that I can trust you to not die, I'll advance you to slightly more dangerous missions. Repeat as necessary, etcetera, so on and so forth. If you do well enough, I don't see why I can't graduate you early, if you're up to it."
Now, there were a lot of words actually spoken there. First, I'll go over the general process of what to reply to first and whatnot. Then I'll actually talk about how I connected everything and all of that fun stuff.
The first and most important that I try to do is never have a “conversation string” (as I like to call it) continue for too long. This is when you have a back and forth about something in particular, instead of letting the conversation evolve. Know when to drop something and when your character would have something important to say about that. When you're in a heavy dialogue moment, there is such a thing as too many words.
After that, I have to find the spot where I believe my character (Anton) will respond to. We have a certain level of assumption here, but also a few requirements. Opal has given me all of the words that Cedric will speak during that time, and I can't say anything that will particularly make Cedric stop in his tracks and say something different. If I do need to say something like that, I should put it near the end of my post, as I need to give Opal room to reply to. The easiest way to do that is to just make a small note in your post that it irked/bothered/whatever you character and to bring it up afterward.
To find the spot where I think Anton will reply to, I have to find the first thing that actually requires a response. After I've found that, I can look through the dialogue to see if there's anything above that which my character would specifically reply to. If not, that's the first thing that I do with my character's dialogue.
The part that I felt was in most need of a reply was the ”As for the second...” line. (Ninth paragraph.) To reply, I simply found a spot where Opal paused so I could get whatever I needed in, and threw something in there. This is what I posted.
As Cedric seemed to be gathering his thoughts for the next thought, Anton took the moment of repose to figure out what this meant for him: he was still on his path to be a slayer, so that was all going well. Additionally, there would be a Pryfektus who could teach him the specifics, where as he would be having Cedric to teach him the more theoretical aspects.
Perhaps this wouldn't be so bad after all. Sure, Cedric would be an idiot most of the time, but in all reality, he was a Vetr. He was powerful, able, and definitely intelligent. There was quite a lot that Anton could take advantage of here. And at the very least, he would be able to say that he was tutored by a Vetr for the latter half of his Tirohood. "Sounds wonderful,” was all Anton said, not daring to interrupt the flow of answers that was still coming from the Vetr.
Perhaps this wouldn't be so bad after all. Sure, Cedric would be an idiot most of the time, but in all reality, he was a Vetr. He was powerful, able, and definitely intelligent. There was quite a lot that Anton could take advantage of here. And at the very least, he would be able to say that he was tutored by a Vetr for the latter half of his Tirohood. "Sounds wonderful,” was all Anton said, not daring to interrupt the flow of answers that was still coming from the Vetr.
Nothing too fancy. As per my typical style, there's a lot of introspection. If you don't have this particular style, then that little point above would be a bit shorter for you. I do suggest a bit of introspection, though, as it can reveal to the other RPer what you plan to do with the thread, which is extremely helpful for knowing what is okay to post and what isn't okay to post.
Next, we move onto the next part which needs replying. ”You have, I think, a very deep...” (Fifteenth paragraph, third from last.)
This was my response.
Lower-risk missions? Anton could understand the caution, even if he detested it. There was a certain level of expertise required to be able to be able to survive, after all. However, the most interesting (and tantalizing) aspect of these conditions was the last. The idea of graduating early was definitely wonderful from Anton, as he was all too eager to be freed from the bonds of being a Tiro. Over all, it was fairly acceptable, but the freedom that came with being a full-fledged Drakonrhedi was insurmountable.
The customary glass of water was in front of Anton; after all, this place was a restaurant. The beads of condensed liquid trickled down the smooth surface, slowly collecting at the bottom, in a damp circle. Meaningless. "It's your pick if you choose to advance my combat magic or to work on the weaker sides of my magic. Though, the theoretical stuff should, in my opinion, be first on the former, and then we can touch on the latter as we continue. The reason being that there may be some fundamentally crucial things I am not doing, and that would make it quite hard to really advance too much, wouldn't it?”
The customary glass of water was in front of Anton; after all, this place was a restaurant. The beads of condensed liquid trickled down the smooth surface, slowly collecting at the bottom, in a damp circle. Meaningless. "It's your pick if you choose to advance my combat magic or to work on the weaker sides of my magic. Though, the theoretical stuff should, in my opinion, be first on the former, and then we can touch on the latter as we continue. The reason being that there may be some fundamentally crucial things I am not doing, and that would make it quite hard to really advance too much, wouldn't it?”
The first thing I do is introspect. That, again, is just my style of writing. You can place your actual words first and then attach any extra meaning to them afterward, or put the meaning before, or have extra thoughts bouncing around in your character's head, or speak of what your character wants to say but is too afraid to, etc., etc.
This is basically the same as the previous response. There is something to note, here. I said something that was more than just a simple response, which requires another reply from Cedric. This is the beginning of a “conversation string”. They are going to happen often, and they're actually quite fine to have. Just make sure that the other parts of your conversation stay close to the same point as your conversation string until you end it, as evolving the rest of the conversation will create two separate points in time that you're replying to, and that's gets super awkward really quickly.
Finally, after all of that is done, I can add whatever I feel Anton would say. You can add any type of special thing that relates to what Anton would say, though general movement (such as walking through streets or something) should be something that you mention throughout the entire post, so you know how quickly time is moving in the post. That's important for the other person, as well.
Meaningless indeed. The glass that Anton was staring at was slowly starting to change from being wet to seeming quite dry on the outside. The cloth that it stood upon seemed to dry at the same time, as well. Water was hard to get right in an illusion. It bent light in such weird angles that you had to properly understand both it and your magic before a proper illusion could be made using water. That didn't stop Anton from trying, of course. It simply meant that there was another failure for him to analyze.
Of course, as soon as Anton found the mistakes he was looking for, the illusion shimmered away immediately. "I'm bad at illusions. Very bad. You've seen what I can do, but that's about it. I understand my magic well, but actually using it is another story. I do it by instinct, not with thought as to what I'm doing. I'm sure you can see the problem with that."
Of course, as soon as Anton found the mistakes he was looking for, the illusion shimmered away immediately. "I'm bad at illusions. Very bad. You've seen what I can do, but that's about it. I understand my magic well, but actually using it is another story. I do it by instinct, not with thought as to what I'm doing. I'm sure you can see the problem with that."
Again, I have a lot of introspection. This is just what I do, and you are by no means required to do the same thing. I personally feel like it adds to the quality of my posts, but that's simply because it feels very natural for me to write. If you prefer other things, then do that. There is something to note about all of this: you can't have simply movement or simply introspection. You need something to go along with the introspection, as otherwise the other person will be unable to respond to it, and you need some introspection to go along with your movement, as otherwise the other person will have too much to respond to and not enough meaning with all of those things.
I mention something very short, though that's Anton's personality. If your character is someone who is more social, then you can add more. You can also change the placement of it – it doesn't have to be after all of your movement is done. Just try to put it where it makes the most sense. Here, I felt like it would be best at the end because Anton would want to display his skills before Cedric replied.
And that's the entirety of my post! I'll put it all together at the bottom, so you can see what it looks like completed. Alternatively, you can go to this thread. It should bring you to the point that we began. If not, then that's really terrible and PM me so everyone else doesn't have to go through that.
The Vetr took a moment to gather his thoughts, an onslaught of answers soon to come. "In regards to your first question. It'd be foolish of me to place you anywhere else. As you said, your potential lies with the Slayers, and to deny that would be to damage the Drakonrhedi as well as your chances of survival.
Perhaps this wouldn't be so bad after all. Sure, Cedric would be an idiot most of the time, but in all reality, he was a Vetr. He was powerful, able, and definitely intelligent. There was quite a lot that Anton could take advantage of here. And at the very least, he would be able to say that he was tutored by a Vetr for the latter half of his Tirohood. "Sounds wonderful," was all Anton said, not daring to interrupt the flow of answers that was still coming from the Vetr.
"You have, I think, a very deep understanding of magic for one of your training level, which is unusual in and of itself. However, while your talent is obviously present and theoretically you understand the concepts, you lack much of the experience necessary for successful practical applications. As such, I'd think that lower-risk missions would first be... prudent, I suppose. I have a limited concept of your physical combat capabilities, but I would assume that Svana did a fairly good job with you."
He paused for a moment to draw breath.
"Once I see enough improvement that I can trust you to not die, I'll advance you to slightly more dangerous missions. Repeat as necessary, etcetera, so on and so forth. If you do well enough, I don't see why I can't graduate you early, if you're up to it."
Lower-risk missions? Anton could understand the caution, even if he detested it. There was a certain level of expertise required to be able to be able to survive, after all. However, the most interesting (and tantalizing) aspect of these conditions was the last. The idea of graduating early was definitely wonderful from Anton, as he was all too eager to be freed from the bonds of being a Tiro. Over all, it was fairly acceptable, but the freedom that came with being a full-fledged Drakonrhedi was insurmountable.
The customary glass of water was in front of Anton; after all, this place was a restaurant. The beads of condensed liquid trickled down the smooth surface, slowly collecting at the bottom, in a damp circle. Meaningless. "It's your pick if you choose to advance my combat magic or to work on the weaker sides of my magic. Though, the theoretical stuff should, in my opinion, be first on the former, and then we can touch on the latter as we continue. The reason being that there may be some fundamentally crucial things I am not doing, and that would make it quite hard to really advance too much, wouldn't it?"
Meaningless indeed. The glass that Anton was staring at was slowly starting to change from being wet to seeming quite dry on the outside. The cloth that it stood upon seemed to dry at the same time, as well. Water was hard to get right in an illusion. It bent light in such weird angles that you had to properly understand both it and your magic before a proper illusion could be made using water. That didn't stop Anton from trying, of course. It simply meant that there was another failure for him to analyze.
Of course, as soon as Anton found the mistakes he was looking for, the illusion shimmered away immediately. "I'm bad at illusions. Very bad. You've seen what I can do, but that's about it. I understand my magic well, but actually using it is another story. I do it by instinct, not with thought as to what I'm doing. I'm sure you can see the problem with that."
Perhaps this wouldn't be so bad after all. Sure, Cedric would be an idiot most of the time, but in all reality, he was a Vetr. He was powerful, able, and definitely intelligent. There was quite a lot that Anton could take advantage of here. And at the very least, he would be able to say that he was tutored by a Vetr for the latter half of his Tirohood. "Sounds wonderful," was all Anton said, not daring to interrupt the flow of answers that was still coming from the Vetr.
"You have, I think, a very deep understanding of magic for one of your training level, which is unusual in and of itself. However, while your talent is obviously present and theoretically you understand the concepts, you lack much of the experience necessary for successful practical applications. As such, I'd think that lower-risk missions would first be... prudent, I suppose. I have a limited concept of your physical combat capabilities, but I would assume that Svana did a fairly good job with you."
He paused for a moment to draw breath.
"Once I see enough improvement that I can trust you to not die, I'll advance you to slightly more dangerous missions. Repeat as necessary, etcetera, so on and so forth. If you do well enough, I don't see why I can't graduate you early, if you're up to it."
Lower-risk missions? Anton could understand the caution, even if he detested it. There was a certain level of expertise required to be able to be able to survive, after all. However, the most interesting (and tantalizing) aspect of these conditions was the last. The idea of graduating early was definitely wonderful from Anton, as he was all too eager to be freed from the bonds of being a Tiro. Over all, it was fairly acceptable, but the freedom that came with being a full-fledged Drakonrhedi was insurmountable.
The customary glass of water was in front of Anton; after all, this place was a restaurant. The beads of condensed liquid trickled down the smooth surface, slowly collecting at the bottom, in a damp circle. Meaningless. "It's your pick if you choose to advance my combat magic or to work on the weaker sides of my magic. Though, the theoretical stuff should, in my opinion, be first on the former, and then we can touch on the latter as we continue. The reason being that there may be some fundamentally crucial things I am not doing, and that would make it quite hard to really advance too much, wouldn't it?"
Meaningless indeed. The glass that Anton was staring at was slowly starting to change from being wet to seeming quite dry on the outside. The cloth that it stood upon seemed to dry at the same time, as well. Water was hard to get right in an illusion. It bent light in such weird angles that you had to properly understand both it and your magic before a proper illusion could be made using water. That didn't stop Anton from trying, of course. It simply meant that there was another failure for him to analyze.
Of course, as soon as Anton found the mistakes he was looking for, the illusion shimmered away immediately. "I'm bad at illusions. Very bad. You've seen what I can do, but that's about it. I understand my magic well, but actually using it is another story. I do it by instinct, not with thought as to what I'm doing. I'm sure you can see the problem with that."
General Grammatical Tips
It can get a bit weird when using pronouns. For instance, '”So, do you like rabbits?” he asked,' may seem a bit weird for some people to write. So I'll give you the general tips for what to do with the ending punctuation and the first word (capitalised/not capitalised)
- If the word in question is capitalised normally, capitalise it. Otherwise, do not capitalise it IF it is not a new sentence. (You're saying something like “Blah blah,” he says.)
- If the sentence ends in any punctuation other than a period, use that.
- If the sentence ends in a period, use a comma instead.
- If the sentence is continued after a non-dialogue bit, use a comma to denote the continuing sentence.*
- If you need to describe something that's happening as the person says it, either italicise it and describe it after the sentence ends or use a dash to break the dialogue from the non-dialogue. (Example below.)*
”I swear to the gods that rule our world, I will slay you–“ he ripped the sword out of the man's chest “–and your family.”
*I cannot find any reliable source for these. These are only my personal rules. If you find something that directly contradicts this and is a reliable source (i.e., Purdue OWL or Oxford website or something), PM me with that please! Thank you!
Because I'm just as bad at conclusions as I am introductions, how about I just hit the go button? I mean, you're just going to be seeing this at the end anyway. Thanks for reading!