|
Post by Anton Nystrom on Mar 5, 2014 5:29:01 GMT
"I trust you enough to know that wouldn't happen," Athie said, his voice soft and quite pleasant to listen to. "And even if I had to run, I'd always come back." Anton let the smallest of sighs. His hand was still on Athie's chin, and Athie's hand was gripping his wrist. He wondered how awful that was: the hurt animal was seeking love and acceptance from Anton. Anton could be a fiercely loving mother, yes, but only when he was the Anton that Athie loved. "Athie..."The words were stuck in his throat, so he let go of the man's chin and let his arm fall down to his side, breaking free of Athie's light hold. No longer able to look at the other man, for the words he was about to say he was truly ashamed of, Anton sank his eyes to the ground, letting his mess of hair hide anything that he might have seen. "Athie, you must promise me... When I become someone you fear, leave me. I will not be someone who cares for you then; I will be a beast. And in that moment, you will simply be a fly who's annoying me."He hated this. All of this. He didn't so much mind the anger, and he certainly didn't mind having people who cared about him. But he hated having to tell people that he was a vicious beast underneath the pretense that he put up. He hated telling people what he thought of them when his goal was simply to spill as much blood as possible. He hated having to break the trust that others gave him because it was the only way they could stay safe around him. An idle thought crossed his mind, and in a rather Athie-like manner, it was of his mother. Rather, it was the warmth and love of a mother's touch. His mother was happily in the Hrafnung clan still, happy to see how powerful and important Anton was becoming. But the child inside Anton longed for the love of a mother, where he could simply sink his despairs into her embrace. He longed for someone to get this frustration out on. Frustration. It was coming back, again. The floodgates of anger. That was how he let everything go. He had to patch them up, every single time. And every time he wasn't able to truly release himself, it became harder and harder to keep everything contained. And it would only continue to grow in strength until he truly let himself go. And when that happened, it was bound to be bloody. Tags: Athuraadd FallonkreathInspiration: Dream Theater has been my muse for the past few days. Notes: so i gave you like nothing to reply to but WHATEVER HAVE A POST
|
|
|
Post by Athuraadd Fallonkreath on Mar 5, 2014 17:14:42 GMT
"Athie..."
His name was said with such softness, but in his heart Athuraadd knew that it was just a cover for words that -in all likely- were going to sting. He hoped, somewhere deep down that he was wrong. He hoped that -for once- this wasn't going to be one of those times that he was right.
"Athie, you must promise me... When I become someone you fear, leave me. I will not be someone who cares for you then; I will be a beast. And in that moment, you will simply be a fly who's annoying me."
Athie felt a dead weight in his chest. He was so used to knowing people viewed him as a pest. He knew himself that he had a particularly grating personality at the best of times. In the past, he'd shrugged off the insults and the jests at his expense, but hearing Anton say similar words hurt. It hurt a lot.
What Anton was asking of him hurt even more somehow. What did he mean; 'become someone you fear'? Athie swallowed hard.
Anton, you're scaring me now.
He felt his fingers curl into his palms, digging harshly into the skin. He cast a quick, anxious look towards the door, breaking for a second his eye contact with Anton. His mind was replaying the other man's words over and over again in his head, but his legs stayed stock still. Naturally, when things scared Athuraadd, he ran. By default, he was a cowardly individual. But even now, when it was Anton who was unnerving him, why was he so determined to stay?
Regardless, Anton wanted to hear him say those particular words that Athie had been -up until now- point blank refusing to say. An intense moral conflict sparred in his mind and his felt his teeth clench together. By now, Anton's hand had left his chin and his arm drooped to his side, head bowed in such a way that his blue hair tumbled past his face. He looked so...beaten down. Athie recognized such a look.
Slowly and gently, he slipped himself off the edge off the bed so his behind came to rest on the floor underneath. He sat cross-legged, hands on knees, levels reversed once more so that he was now looking back up at Anton (although he had to crane his neck slightly to see past his hair). "I promise." he eventually said, although the words were shaky even as they fell out his lips. The silence that followed nearly crushed him.
His hands tensed, scratching against the fabric of his trousers. He felt frustrated, angry with himself that he didn't know what to do or how to change the situation. There was only one thing he could think of, so in the end he went with his gut decision. Athie flew his arms out and locked Anton in a sudden embrace. He wasn't sure why; he was shivering with the weight of his own emotions as he pulled himself close to Anton's body and his head came to rest on the other man's shoulder. From his own experience however, he came to understand that sometimes a hug said more than words ever could.
Then again, he and Anton were completely different people, so after a couple of moments, Athie withdrew himself, coming back to lean against the bed, hands slumped down between his crossed legs. He avoided Anton's gaze, his own eyes trying to feebly focus on his fidgeting hands. "Can you promise me something, Anton?" he asked quietly, voice barely reaching above a strained whisper, "Promise me that even if I had to run away from you, you'll still allow me to care about you?"
|
|
|
Post by Anton Nystrom on Mar 6, 2014 7:43:42 GMT
These feelings were not new to Anton. It was the feelings that fueled his rage, underneath it all. But it was also what he did to prevent the rage from happening. It left some questions in his mind that he often avoided thinking about. But, now it was the end of the day, and there were some things that were simply and truly unavoidable. Hurting Athie was, unfortunately, a part of that. There was a battle in the battle in the man in front of him. A battle of things Anton couldn't even begin to understand. All he knew was that he had to continue fueling the fire of the right side. And if it did it right... If he did everything right, the man in front of him would be safe. Safe. "I promise."Those words were the first part of war. The battle was won, so Athie was safe for now. But would it last? Time would only tell. For now, he could feel the inklings of emotions trickle through his veins. He deserved rest. Perhaps he was not the one who was truly fighting, but he felt just as exhausted. The type of exhausted you feel after hours of studying over a concept, and you finally began to understood a part of it, but you knew just how much more you had to go. Athie was the concept Anton was poring over, but it was well worth it. The man should be able to live his life how he desires. All Anton desired was to give him the strength he needed. But Anton could just as easily take away his ability to do anything. It was the type of power that was entrusted to him, a gift from life attached to all of the other responsibilities it gave you. As his thoughts continued on their rampage, the soft touch of someone closed around him. But, all too soon, it left. Life leaves you with hope, and then rips it away from you, leaving you with what? Loss? Anger? Sadness?There were words being spoken by Athie. Promises to be had. A deal, so to speak. But these promises... These were ones he expected fully from Athie. They were promises he wholly felt he could keep. So why couldn't he say the words? The words were simple enough. "I promise" would do, but... Nothing came out. All that came out was the rush of emotions. The rush of sadness. Athie trusted him? Why was this the thought he was thinking of? Athie trusted him enough to care for him? Athie trusted enough to care for him even when he was telling Athie to fear him? Trust wasn't unexpected from such a kind man. So why did it mean so much? Why was it invoking such a response that he couldn't even explain that he was drowning if feelings that were not bad, no. They were feelings that filled his mind with the type of comfort that he longed for. It was the metaphorical mother's touch that he longed for. His head tiled upwards to look at Athie, his eyes now able to peer through the cracks in his hair. He was looking away, but there was a very sad smile on Anton's face. The fumbling hands of the man were all too familiar at this point. It was as if every time he tried to say something meaningful, he said something honest instead. And at this point in time, honesty was far more important than fake meaning. If Anton was less blunt, perhaps this would have been awkward. But to him, it was simply what it was: comfort. He grabbed the fumbling Athie and pulled him close to his body. It was probably not the most comfortable altogether, but the comfort was something that Anton was trying to convey. The simple hug from earlier told him that Athie knew how important feeling could be, and he had trusted Anton enough to give and receive it. That was all it took for Anton to take the initiative and let the emotions sink into him as he tried to explain what his mind was currently dancing around. "Athie," he began, spreading his legs apart so Athie spine wasn't in such an awkward position. "I promise that you will always be able to care for me, so long as you care for yourself first. I'm sure I'll need you, too." They weren't many words, but he hoped that he managed to get across whatever point he had. Whatever points he couldn't say, he tried to hug into the man. Tags: Athuraadd FallonkreathInspiration: Mind's Eye - A Gentleman's Hurricane Notes: So I learned that the phrase is "He pored over the material," not "He poured over the material". Also, this would be like three trillion times more gay if Anton had any idea of how relationships worked.
|
|
|
Post by Athuraadd Fallonkreath on Mar 7, 2014 1:11:15 GMT
There was such a need inside Athie to be held, to be comforted, even more so than usual. Normally in situations where heavy matters pressed upon him, he sought the advice of his mother, his father and even his brothers. But they weren't here, and the reality of being alone felt extremely sobering for Athuraadd.
Except...he wasn't alone, was he? Opposite him sat a man who he put all his trust in, someone he genuinely cared about and at the same time, someone who he was longing to be embraced by back. But such a need felt so confusing; Anton was a man, how could someone have such a want when the other person was another guy themselves? Then again...it didn't feel wrong at all, just...new.
And then Anton hugged him back.
The sudden force caught Athie off guard (even though he didn't exactly object) and the smaller Viking let out a surprise squeak at Anton pulled him into his body, muffling the startled noise against his chest. He went a little limp, purely out of his own shock. He'd almost forgotten about his request for Anton to make his own promises, but when he did remember, he found this answer much more to his liking.
"Athie,"
You need to stop saying my name, Anton otherwise I won't be able to control myself, said a small voice in the back of Athie's mind as his eyes clenched shut. But such thoughts were drowned out as his focus shifted onto the fact Anton's legs had now moved and it became much easier for him to sit comfortably. Involuntarily and before he could stop himself, he nuzzled his head into the crook of Anton's neck, purely because it was in his instinct to naturally assume a warm, comfortable state of being, and underneath Anton's head was just where he happened to find it.
"I promise that you will always be able to care for me, so long as you care for yourself first. I'm sure I'll need you, too."
Athie nodded so gently that it wasn't even a proper nod; just soft bobbing movements of his head, but it showed he understood nonetheless. "Thank you." he said simply, but his voice was thick with emotion. Using his non-injured hand to support himself (even though he was light, he didn't want Anton to have to bear his whole weight as he leaned against him), his bandaged wrist found itself reaching up behind Anton's back, and coming to rest on his shoulder, fingers gripping lightly against the fabric of his uniform. "I don't know how someone like me could help you." he added, a soft laugh accompanying the end of his sentence, but there was a hint of truthful realisation in there too. He gave a small sniff, before finishing on "I'll still come though. When you do need me."
Tags: Anton NystromInspiration: some instrumental stuffz Notes: I'm so sorry if I gave you like, nothing to reply to either D:
|
|
|
Post by Anton Nystrom on Mar 8, 2014 11:30:38 GMT
"I don't know how someone like me could help you," Athie said, the slightest hints of lighter emotions in his voice. "I'll still come though when you do need me."How does anyone really help? As far as Anton was aware, emotions were useless. And yet, here he was, hugging Athie as a mother and a child and a lonely man all at the same time. There was doubtfully any way for someone to help someone else if they didn't want the help, but what if they did? Can you help someone if you're useless if they want your help? Anton doubted it. Anton doubted a lot of things on this topic. "You care and know how people feel. It'd be ridiculous to say that you wouldn't be able to help." The words came from no where, seemingly to Anton. He had no idea how he sad that, but he did. "Even just a hug--" he tightened his hug for a moment, to demonstrate, "--can help someone more than you realize at the time." Lightening his grip, he brought his hand up the man's hair and ruffled his hair just a bit. As much as Anton wished that he could just sit in these feelings forever, he knew that other feelings would come soon enough. He took his hands and gently moved Athie so he was sitting on the ground more and got up. "Stay," Anton said. He would just have to take care of a handful of things before he could come back. Maybe two minutes at most. To make sure that Athie didn't drown himself in a sea of worry or fumbling confusion, he handle the man to drink (so he could have something to distract himself with). He slipped into the kitchen, grabbing a bit of fruit and bread and throwing it on a plate. That was a good-enough dinner, right? Anton certainly hoped so. Or at the very least, he hoped that Athie wouldn't particularly care. Anton was rather bad about having "proper" dinners when they weren't served to him; he had a habit of simply grabbing whatever food he could from the nearest cook and eating that. After he found some food, he grabbed a spare blanket from the linen room, as the current furnishings in the room they were staying in were rather scratchy. It was natural practice for Anton to secretly grab one of the officer's blankets, so he grabbed one for Athie as well. Well, I certainly hope that they don't notice. Anton took a breath and finally found a sink that he could wash up slightly in. It was natural practice for him to wash after he released his anger -- normally there was blood involved, whether it was his or someone else's. This time, it was different, but it did give him time take a look at his hand. Nothing seemed broken, just would start swelling soon probably. Realizing that he was running low on time (if his count was right, he had about ten seconds to the two minute mark), he grabbed the bandage he acquired to just put it on in the room. He shoved it in his pants pocket, put the folded blanket under his left arm, grabbed the plate, and made his way back into the room. "Here, I got a blanket for you and some food. Considering you don't seem to enjoy grass that much, I grabbed you some fruit and a bit of bread. I'd get you meat, but they'd probably yell at me for that. Fruit itself is pretty hard to get, but I have a thing for grapes."He smiled softly at Athie and walked over to him. Deciding to set the plate of food on the chest at the end of the bed (the chest contained personal affections and clothing, but it had a flat top to put things on), he sat on the bed and jerked his head to the spot next to him. "Wanna sit here on the bed, or do you like the ground more?"As he was telling/asking Athie to sit next to him, he started to grab the bandage from his pocket. The bandage itself was a stretchy material, used more to keep the blood from swelling than it was to prevent further injury. The swelling would most likely go away on its own, but the bandage was used to hasten it. Of course, you had to make sure that you didn't restrict blood flow, as that would increase the swelling instead. A bit of experience always helped with self-treating injuries. Tags: Athuraadd FallonkreathInspiration: hahaha Notes: wow have you ever had a post suck so much that it is just literal shit. sorry about how messy this is. ;~;
|
|
|
Post by Athuraadd Fallonkreath on Mar 8, 2014 22:55:49 GMT
"You care and know how people feel. It'd be ridiculous to say that you wouldn't be able to help."
While Athie was always mindful to show compassion and care for others, he was skeptical on Anton's theory that he had good judgement of people, although that was mainly down to his modesty. Still, hearing Anton say those words with such sincerity made him feel warm and happy, and he was thankful for that.
"Even just a hug can help someone more than you realize at the time."
As Anton squeezed him ever so slightly, Athie let out the tiniest of 'eep!' noises from the sudden tightening grip, but he didn't mind. It felt nice; it was a sense of feeling protected and secure, and god knows Athie longed for such a sensation. Once Anton's hold relaxed again, his hand came up to gently tousle Athie's hair with gentlest of touches, and he had to will himself with everything he had not to let out a content sigh. Such as a horse enjoys his mane being petted, so did Athie enjoy his own hair receiving such affectionate contact. He softly smiled into Anton's neck, eyes closed and giving a quiet but satisfied "Mhmm." in response to the other man's words.
All too soon and all too suddenly however, Anton shifted. Taking Athie's hands in his, the Drakonrhedi positioned the smaller Viking so that he was sitting much more comfortably on the floor, before standing up.
"Stay,"
Athie gave Anton the look a dog gives his owner when he has go, anxious and slightly forlorn, head tilting a little to the side. But when Anton handed him his forgotten mug of ale, Athie happily accepted it and thought Anton's brief departure would give him much needed time to reflect.
He took a much welcome sip from his drink, enjoying the refreshing feeling it brought to his senses. In his head, his thoughts were tossing and turning and somersaulting with one another, and most of them concerned...Anton. Athie had to be realistic here; this was a man who - he had to face it - he hadn't known for very long at all and had many more things to find out about. Tonight had only been a snapshot, and Anton had said that deep down, he was a 'beast'. Athie had certainly seen evidence of an underlying vicious nature about Anton, and yet...why did he want to stay?
Snap out it, Athie... You're being an idiot again, Athie...
"Come on, Athie," he said aloud to himself, swirling the liquid around in his mug, "-there's absolutely no way Anton could possibly share the same feelings about yo-" He stopped. Wait. What feelings were those exactly? "Here, I got a blanket for you and some food. Considering you don't seem to enjoy grass that much, I grabbed you some fruit and a bit of bread. I'd get you meat, but they'd probably yell at me for that. Fruit itself is pretty hard to get, but I have a thing for grapes."
Athie's head shot up quickly as Anton entered the room, his face creasing with a sheepish but bright smile, the kind of 'I wasn't doing anything' smile, when really you kind of were doing something. He set his mug down as Anton deposited the plate of food on the chest, quickly getting up to sit on his knees and hover like a meerkat to see what foods adorned the plate. He wasn't particularly hungry, but appreciated that Anton had taken his needs into consideration nonetheless. His face had cringed a little when the whole grass thing was brought up, giving a small 'heh' sound in response. But his main focus was the food, "Thanks, Anton." he smiled, reaching over to pick one of the grapes from its stalk, "I like grapes too; if you freeze them a little a little and then serve them on a platter with either cheese or chocolate-" He popped the fruit inside his mouth and chewed happily, "-great for after huge meals."
"Wanna sit here on the bed, or do you like the ground more?"
Athie stopped mid-chew, looked to where Anton was gesturing (right next to him, no less), swallowed hard and nodded a little, desperate to hide the blush that was forming on his cheeks. He scrambled up to sit beside Anton, and the other man was busy attending to his bruised knuckles. Athie frowned; he hated seeing anyone injured, and he could sympathise with Anton on the whole 'bandage-front', "Bandage buddies." he noted with a weak smile, holding up his own -if less impressive- injury to hover it beside Anton's. He held it there for a moment or two, thought perhaps maybe that was a bit inappropriate, and let his wrist droop back down, coming to rest close to Anton's....maybe a little too close. He quickly realised this and clumsily moved his hand away quickly, letting it sit on his lap.
Athie bit the corner of his lip, and then turned to face Anton, "Does it hurt badly...your wrist?" he asked, worry creasing his brow. He cast an eye down to Anton's fist, and noted that it was starting to swell. Back in his days of being at the receiving end of an Armfastrung mentor's wise words, and after they'd both deduced he'd be more suited as a battle medic, Athie had picked up a few tidbits of knowledge when it came to basic first aid. But right now, he was fighting an internal battle of what to do. Eventually, one side came out victorious. Reaching out suddenly to cup Anton's bruised fist in one of his palms, he gently took the bandage from Anton's other hand with his own and delicately began to apply the bandage -lightly of course- around Anton's knuckles.
Tags: Anton NystromInspiration:Notes: To prove your post wasn't bad you get an extra gay Athie in this post congrats <3
|
|
|
Post by Anton Nystrom on Mar 9, 2014 4:27:31 GMT
"I like grapes too; if you freeze them a little and then serve them on a platter with either cheese or chocolate--great for after huge meals," Athie said -- rather happily. Those were the things that Anton enjoyed about Athie; he said the most random things that displayed some of his best skills. He was an amazing cook, but he was also amazing at preparing meals in general. To plan out the tastes and sensations that you would feel, and how beautifully the could go together. A small smile formed on his face as Athie scrambled up to sit next to him, though it wasn't because of the blush on Athie's cheeks, nor the ridiculous behaviour when Anton mentioned any of these things. No, it was because the man who ate frozen grapes with chocolate after huge meals was delighted to sit next to simple, poor Anton. "Bandage buddies," Athie said lightly, holding up his own injury. The injury that Athie had sustained seemed quite a bit better now, if still slightly injured. Anton felt a slight bit of relief run through his body, despite not even knowing he was worrying about that. Before he could say anything though, Athie said more: "Does it hury badly...your wrist?" That was, indeed, a good question. Did it hurt badly? Perhaps. Less the wrist, more the hand itself. That's where most of the stress was applied, as those were the bones that truly took the impact. While the wrist took the blow from those bones, it was substantially reduced by that point. It could still cause a fracture, if the energy flowed through the hand in a particular way. It was quite common, in fact. But the bones in the hand were much more fragile, and were definitely in pain at the moment. But was it pain? That was a hard thing to describe. "Sort of, but it's more the hand. Pain is something I'm pretty friendly with, though, so I wouldn't worry." Pain was friendly. It told you when you had to stop, it told you what was going on with your body, and it sure as hell didn't take excuses. It was a powerful tool used for a lot of things, and people so callously threw it away as an annoyance. But before Anton could think more about this, Athie grabbed the hand that Anton was bandaging and began to wrap it. That was most definitely welcomed; wrapping a bandage on your own hand was easy enough with experience, but it could be much faster and more effective when someone else was doing it for you. "Thanks," Anton said lightly, grabbing a grape of his own while he waited. He might as well eat, if he had to wait. He hadn't eaten since this morning, and he would probably get famished if he kept this up. "You seem pretty knowledgeable about that," Anton said lightly, mentioning the knowledge that Athie had shown of medicinal nature. Not only various herbs and the like, but also various things that weren't as common knowledge to people outside of medical areas. "Is that what you were training for before you decided traveling was more your thing?"Anton seemed to have two settings: extremely direct and extremely indirect. The former could be horrendously embarrassing, the latter could be horrendously annoying. Luckily for Anton, however, he didn't give a damn. As for Athie... Well, Athie clearly showed more emotions than Anton, that much he figured out. But what were those emotions? The man cared for the Drakonrhedi, as he was helping so much with injuries and food and the like. But what else? There was a small hesitation in every affectionate action he took, as if he was trying to deny a part of him, yet still wanted it. Of course, he doubted he could get that with being as direct. So perhaps a game was necessary, yes? Tags: Athuraadd FallonkreathInspiration: real notes here: holy god this sucks os much i'm sorry ;~; Notes: THE ONLY THING YOU NEED TO KNOW ABOUT THIS POST IS I READ "BANDAGE BUDDIES" AS "BONDAGE BUDDIES"
|
|
|
Post by Athuraadd Fallonkreath on Mar 9, 2014 13:51:28 GMT
"Sort of, but it's more the hand. Pain is something I'm pretty friendly with, though, so I wouldn't worry."
Athie silently pondered over Anton's words and his use of the term 'friendly'. He liked to think he was the opposite; always steering clear of anything that could hurt him. But even so...did that make him cowardly? Well, even more cowardly at least. He was used to hearing that strong men don't care about what injuries they sustain, some even use them as personal badges of honour- his father was such a man. Part of Athuraadd wondered why one would willing accept pain just to show-off their strength. Then again, Anton wasn't a show-off in any sense of the word, so why did he freely endure it?
"Thanks,"
Athie smiled softly, pleased that Anton was allowing him to continue, but kept his gaze on the other man's wrist. The wrapping wasn't done with much confidence; Athie had never done this for real before, and he was only relying on what his mentor had taught him years ago, so this makeshift first-aid was performed gingerly, with a little hesitation. Nevertheless, he was determined to prove that he could do it. Athie may have been slower than the rest, but he wasn't one to throw years of tutoring down the drain.
"You seem pretty knowledgeable about that. Is that what you were training for before you decided traveling was more your thing?"
Athie chuckled gently, "I wouldn't say 'knowledgeable' is the right word. These are all borrowed tricks from my mentor." He gave a little shrug, "After we both realised swords and maces weren't really my thing"(and he said that with a slight grimace)"my mentor thought I'd be best suited as a battle medic, if I was going to be suited for anything." He nodded at Anton's question, finishing the last few wraps of the bandage, "I'm not suited for fights, Anton, I'm happy to help but..." He trailed off a little, while his mind tried to find the correct phrasing, "...Armfastrung doesn't need a battle medic right now." Athie gave a happy smile, trying to mask the slight melancholy inside him, "Besides, my brothers are the warriors, they can look after the family while I'm gone. The only thing my mother and father have to worry about is being cooked awful meals when I'm not there."
His cupped hand left Anton's momentarily as he loosely tied the bandage together, "There." he breathed, happy with his efforts, "I can do simple things like that." he continued, before gesturing to his own wrist, "But sprains were a little different, I didn't know how to handle it back there." He looked up at Anton with a warm smile, "That's why I'm glad I had you and Alvis with me."
Athie, deciding his throat was a little dry, reached down to take the large, final gulp from his drink, before putting the empty mug on the chest at the foot of the bed. He wasn't sure what the stuff was, probably some Hrafnung brew that was a little stronger than what he was used to, because his head felt somewhat light. Urgh, come on Athie, his mind groaned, you're no lightweight, suck it up! Then again, he didn't have much in his stomach (grass and one grape was hardly a sufficient diet) at the time, so the alcohol was probably seeping into his blood a little quicker. School boy error, he thought hazily.
Thinking it best to keep his head level, he shuffled himself so that both feet were on the bed and he was presently now lying on his back, with Anton still sitting on the edge while he lay behind him, hands behind his head, releasing contented breaths. His mind briefly thought back to the woman and her words, realising for the first time that Anton hadn't shown any real signs of attraction towards her. Don't over think this Athie, just don't. But still, Anton was probably holding off from such thoughts because he was trying to stand up to her. Did Anton even like women? Did he like anyone for that matter...in that way at least.
"Anton..." he began, in a way that said 'I'm about to ask a question so get ready for it', "Have you ever been with a girl?" he asked suddenly, voice taking on its natural curious and breezy tone. Half of him realised that was probably an extremely intrusive question, but the other half of him (bear in mind this was the side that was feeling slightly...tipsy) was genuinely curious. Anton had opened up to him before now, this can't have been that much more personal...hopefully.
Tags: Anton NystromInspiration: bondages buddies omfg lololololol. Notes: the sexual tension is strong in this one.
|
|
|
Post by Anton Nystrom on Mar 10, 2014 22:48:19 GMT
Athie was both a cook and a medic who enjoyed traveling and didn't seem to be that fond of battle, yet knew how to operate in one. Quite the curious man indeed. Anton smiled briefly and then leaned over to grab the necklace from his where his coat lie. The necklace was a curious little thing to him -- never had any real purpose, but he held onto it nonetheless. It was a good thing to play with whenever you had thoughts, so Anton simply got into the happen of twirling the bone around his hands. But as he began to play with it idly, Athie apparently decided to lie down, stretching out on the bed while Anton was still on the edge. A grin appeared at his lips and he almost said something, but managed to keep his mouth shut. There was just the slightest feeling in his mind that he should let Athie speak first and then find out what he wanted from that. It was, after all, a game. A game of curiosity, yes, but nevertheless, a game. "Anton..." There was the bite. "Have you ever been with a girl?"That was not the catch that Anton was expecting. He was expecting something innocent, perhaps emotional. But this? This was... Well, it was like Athie was giving him exactly what he wanted. Sure, it was presented in the form of a question to him, which could be a bit messy, but then it would also be ridiculous to think that he wouldn't just turn it back on Athie. That was one of the biggest risks with asking questions: if one cannot answer a question, then one should not ask it. This, however, was most certainly a question that Anton could answer. It would just take a bit. "Have I ever been with a girl?" Anton began, staring at the bone that was in his fingers. As he mused this question to himself, he placed on his finger, where the bone would lie in its original body. "No, not really. Women don't interest me... Well, at least, they don't interest me in a way that's appealing."He turned his head to look at the Athie who, judging by the colour of his face and the behaviour he was displaying, was quite tipsy at the moment. "What about you? Have you ever been with anyone? Or, at the very least, interested in someone."The wording was what Anton so carefully constructed. There couldn't be any gender pronouns in there, or else it wouldn't necessarily be required to say. But now? If he omitted anything regarding either gender, then it could be considered a lie. And Athie didn't seem like one that was great at being called a liar. Some may think it was cruel of Anton to say it like that, to manipulate Athie into admitting something. But for Anton, he didn't understand why people were afraid to admit things. People were who they are, and if they wanted to change, then they could work on that. But judging them was... Well, not useless, but it wasn't necessarily productive. Especially if you thought of them as a friend. If Anton wanted to know something, then he would try his best to figure it out. The answer was often irrelevant; Anton reveling in irrelevant things. It was simply him letting his curiosity feast upon the world. He did have such a starving curiosity, after all. Tags: Athuraadd FallonkreathInspiration: hahahah Notes: I am deeply sorry about your brain after having to read this.
|
|
|
Post by Athuraadd Fallonkreath on Mar 11, 2014 0:31:40 GMT
Athie became dimly aware that Anton was fidgeting with something in his hands. He raised his head up a little from the pillow, giving himself a better vantage point to inspect the trinket. It was a necklace, and upon it was a small, white-ish looking charm, but Athie couldn't make out what it was, but it was obviously something of importance to his companion.
He reached for his own neck accessory, his bandana, tied into a thick knot to prevent it from slipping undone. It was a simple keepsake of home, but it was one that he'd worn for a good part of his life. Of course, as he'd filled out slightly in his later teen years, the small, green rag had become tighter and tighter, but if he could still wear it, he would. He rubbed the soft fabric in between his fingers, a little absent minded, thoughts again returning to home.
"Have I ever been with a girl?"
Anton's repetition of his question brought Athie's focus back, and the smaller viking propped himself up with an elbow, looking into Anton's eyes with an inquisitive expression.
"No, not really. Women don't interest me... Well, at least, they don't interest me in a way that's appealing."
It took everything Athie had to stop the breath that escaped his lips from sounding like a sigh of relief, so he attached a fake cough onto the end of it. Smoooooooooth, Athie. Then again, why did he need to feel relief? What business was it of his who Anton chose to be attracted to? It wasn't, and yet...why did he find himself silently matching Anton's sentiments? Part of him had to wonder why anyone could feign interest in anyone who they didn't find appealing, both in a mental and physical sense? Another thought occured to him; do I interest Anton?
Suddenly, Anton intercepted Athie's thoughts.
"What about you? Have you ever been with anyone? Or, at the very least, interested in someone." Athie, you idiot, like he wasn't going to ask you back. Think fast, champ.
All the thinking fast in the world couldn't of stopped Athie from awkwardly fumbling with his bandana with his free hand, or his cheeks from turning a familiar shade of pink. He swallowed hard, trying to think of the best thing to say. It wasn't as if he'd never had female attention before in his life; yes, he'd had the odd, awkward teenage kiss with a girl, but that was about it and looking back on it now, Athie doubted whether he enjoyed such experiences at all. "Well...no. Not in...that sort of way." he admitted, shuffling a little.
Anton's second question was baring down on him like a runaway carriage. Athie was a terrible liar, he knew that, but the truthful answer to Anton's query was stuck in his throat. He bit his lip, and wriggled back down so his head was resting once again on the pillow. Drawing up some shred of courage that was stored deep down, he cleared his throat, "Yeah...I am." Perhaps he could side-step around the proper answer, all the while being truthful? He nuzzled his head into the pillow, with just the slightest of sad smiles, "But I doubt he could feel the same way."
Did you just say he? You just say he.
"I doubt they could feel the same way." he said quickly, correcting himself. He didn't even fumble or trip over his words that time; his body was so quick to tense itself that such surprise at his own blunder couldn't even begin to properly manifest itself. He made a mental note to stay clear of Hrafnung beer in the future.
Tags: Anton NystromInspiration: Notes: oh god i gave you like, nothing to reply to i suck D:
|
|
|
Post by Anton Nystrom on Mar 11, 2014 1:58:22 GMT
"I doubt he could feel the same way." Aha! So he was into men. Or, at least, in some regards. Curiously, Anton wondered if his hesitation was because of some type of familial responsibility. That would explain a lot; from what Anton understood, his family was quite big on honour and the like. He would probably feel bad if he wasn't likely to produce children. "I doubt they could feel the same way." Sorry, Athie, but Anton already knows. Not to mention that you still only used a gender neutral pronoun here, so you couldn't even pretend like it was a woman. Of course, Anton could feel the embarrassment that was practically radiating from Athie. Oh, this would be fun indeed. A small chuckle came from Anton. He set the necklace down and turned his body slightly, so he could more easily look at Athie. Yes, this would be quite a bit of fun. "So, who is he?" he asked, his head tilting slightly. A small smile was on his face, but it was a smile of curiosity. Of course, there were more hidden feelings of reveling in the embarrassment of Athie, but that was to be expected. After all, being embarrassed was a sign of shame and accepting your failures. People loved embarrassment not because they liked picking on people, but because it singled the good people out from the bad. "I mean, unless you don't want to talk about that. I don't really care, whomever you like. Men and women are equally attractive to me, so." Anton gave a light shrug, hoping to convince Athie to divulge whatever details he had. He doubted that there were actual feelings for him, but someone else. Perhaps someone in Midgardborg? Would explain why he traveled here first. Maybe that's what was keeping him. Also, due to their intimacy not too long ago, it would make sense why Athie would hesitate with all of that affection; he would want to stay "faithful" to the one he was attracted to. "But just, you know. Don't worry about stupid stuff like that around me. I highly doubt I would care, and I hope you know that."But. There were questions that Anton was not prepared to answer, too. This was a dangerous game, after all. And wasn't it him who said, "If you cannot answer it, do not ask it"? Feelings. Intimacy. Affection. Anton loved these things, yet he hated how easily he shed them. He truly was afraid to be affectionate towards anyone -- friendship was possible, but any more than that left him doing his best to demonstrate what type of monster he was. Perhaps that was his failing. Sometimes people saw him as a person instead of as a beast. That was the way his mentor saw him. She saw skill in him, ruthless cunning that bred vicious power; she saw the makings of a fine Slayer and an exceptional warrior. But she also saw a person who had feelings, who knew the woes of life and death, who fed on love just as much as rage. She was not exceptional with her skills at comforting or being motherly, but she still knew when a pat on the back could help him so much more than pointing out what was flawed in his design. She was a person first, and a Slayer second. Anton saw himself as a Slayer first, and a person second. That was why he feared for those he cared about-- Cared about? He knew he cared about Athie. He did. But why? There were things to think about, things he wasn't too sure of, and things he wasn't sure he wanted to think about. Thank the Stars he was just as good at thinking while talking as he was thinking on his own. Tags: Athuraadd FallonkreathInspiration: Still laughing about bondage buddies. I'm just. Oh god. Notes: So. Anton finally thought about the other side of the coin, and haaaah that didn't go as planned for him.
|
|
|
Post by Athuraadd Fallonkreath on Mar 12, 2014 18:52:59 GMT
"So, who is he?"
He had to be joking, right? There was no way- But when Athie briefly glanced up into Anton's face, the other man's smile was one of understanding and genuine curiosity (much like one of his own grins) and not a smirk that read 'yup, totally busted'. In all honesty, the latter might've been easier to deal with, but Anton was totally oblivious. Athie had to either seriously tip-toe around the answer or just suck it up and blurt it straight out. He opened his mouth to speak, but his voice seemed to jam in his throat and refused to come out.
In the pause, Anton opened his own mouth to speak, and Athie nuzzled his head down, trying to hide his clenched teeth.
"I mean, unless you don't want to talk about that. I don't really care, whomever you like. Men and women are equally attractive to me, so."
That's the thing though; Athie felt like he did want to talk about it. There was a saying that the more you bottled something up, the more it ate away at you. Anton's reassurance, although meant with the best intentions, hardly put Athie at ease. He was an honest person, never finding it in himself to shy away from an honest answer or even tiptoe around the truth.
"But just, you know. Don't worry about stupid stuff like that around me. I highly doubt I would care, and I hope you know that."
Athie swallowed hard. I really think you would care, Anton. There was no use in shying away in silence. For all his words of encouragement, he knew Anton would still curious to know the answer. Heck, Athie would be if the positions were reversed. But they weren't, and Athie was in the dreaded spotlight. Anton was looking down at him unexpectedly and Athie, never wanting to disappoint anyone (especially Anton), opened his mouth to speak; "He's a friend." be began, avoiding direct eye contact with Anton, "And true, I haven't known him for too long, but I know he's a good person, really I do; I don't care what he thinks about himself, I don't mind." He bit his lip, reigning in his words slightly, "He's kind, he looks out for people, he doesn't judge, not even when I act like a complete twat. That's why I..." He went quiet, paused for a moment, and then leaned off his elbow and back down onto the pillow, "I dunno. It's silly. I don't think he has any idea anyway."
Athie had never considered himself to be anything worth-while, aesthetically speaking. He didn't think he was ugly, just..average. Nothing special. His mother delighted in telling him that he was adorable (his brothers had a nasty habit of echoing this in a rather patronizing fashion) and that a lot of his charm came from his naturally jovial and altogether pleasing nature. Until now, Athie had always accepted that this was the case, although -in truth- it had never really crossed his mind.
But why was it bothering him so much now?
Athie bit his bottom lip, and turned his head slightly upwards so that he was looking up at his companion, "What about you, Anton? Are you interested in anyone?" Half of Athie didn't actually want to know the answer, and he wondered why the query had even dared to escape his mouth in the first place. It was teetering on a fine line between anxiety and genuine curiosity. Anton had said that felt equally about both genders, and Athie wondered deep down what kind of person -man or woman- he found most attractive. Did he go for looks or for personality or for something else entirely?
All these thoughts, all these confusing problems racing through Athie's mind were ones that he felt he needed to share with someone else; he wasn't used to thinking about such things, this was all new to him. But the only person he felt he could talk to about it was...kind of the problem in the first place.
Tags: Anton NystromInspiration: i know not of this 'inspiration' you speak of Notes: SO SHORT AND BAD AND JUST GENERAL BAD SORRY. I tried to put in extra sweet athie but i just majorly failed.
|
|
|
Post by Anton Nystrom on Mar 15, 2014 7:26:41 GMT
"He a friend. And true, I haven't known him for too long, but I know he's a good person, really I do; I don't care what he thinks about himself, I don't mind." Athie bit his lip, pausing for a moment that felt rather long in this swell of emotion. "He's kind, he looks out ofr people, he doesn't judge, not even when I act like complete twat. That's why I..." Another pause. A bit longer this time. There was some shuffling, and it was hard to really figure out what was going on in that man's head. "I dunno. It's silly. I don't think he has any idea anyway."He? Anton was trying very hard to not have to deal with thinking about the implications of the lack of a name, but there were still the drips of ideas collecting in the crevices of his mind; who was it? It wouldn't do much to ponder. The question was bound to torment, and there was no foreseeable end to such torment. Either he was him, or he was not. There was no point tormenting himself over such a simple idea. A cautious glance was given to Athie. There were two ways to go about this: what if the person Athie spoke of was Anton, and what if the person was not? Figure out each scenario and prepare accordingly. Otherwise, Anton would find the true meaning of worry, that it was more than just idle discomfort. It could be a true torture, lasting for seemingly eternity. If the person Athie spoke of was him, then he would have to very carefully tread around that idea. Anton's work left him in a rather awkward position, as empathy and true feelings for humanity were something he had to leave behind. No, it was something that he wanted to leave behind. He just didn't want to leave behind this part of it. Athie was such an amazing person -- why did this have to happen? "What about you, Anton? Are you interested in anyone?"There was a slight pause in Anton's thinking as he realized that Athie truly just asked this question, and he wasn't just imagining Athie saying this. After all, that was exactly what his mind was trying to ask him. Was it worth it to answer honestly? Or was it better to simply lie? Was it better to be a beast or a beauty? Was it better to live your life as a fury or as a hell? A furious hell would not be a fun life to live whatsoever. In fact, that was what Anton was trying to avoid. There were a variety of things that he tried to do. Make people hate him, be such an unpredictable force, and most of all, be vile and sadistic. He did, after all, feed off the hatred that brewed within his body. No one? Him? Everyone? "Am I interested in anyone?" Anton asked again, trying to keep the air from becoming uncomfortably silent. He wasn't ready to respond. But he was out of time. Was this what it was like to fight for your life? Was this what it was like to die? The feeling of cool air rushing into Anton's nose calmed him down a bit. No, this was far from life and death. This was playful emotions taunting him as he tried to crush the devilish spirits that caused them. "Well, the woman back there wasn't my taste. Sex... I don't get it. It seems nice, sure, but why do people care?" Anton shrugged slightly and looked at the door, remembering the woman. That damn woman, who caused all of this. "You're attractive. Friendly, cute, and nice. You have a lot of stuff going for you. And even if you're weak at times, you care. I appreciate spirit. After all, without spirit, what am I?" A smile crept up on Anton's face. Yeah, Athie was definitely attractive. "But you asked if I'm interested in anyone? That's a different question than who I find attractive. I don't know if I can answer that. Such volatile conditions of one's life make it hard to be interested in anyone at all."He may be attracted to people, but did that mean he was interested? Attraction was so strange. He felt something for all those people, something dragging him to them, but there was nothing in particular that made Anton was to make such a commitment. After all, Anton could easily die in a single instant of a single day. "I don't know. Attracted to? Yeah, lots of people. Interested in? I can't be. I'd rather not die on someone and have them miss me that much more." A laugh came from Anton, though perhaps in poor taste. To him, his death was already accepted. It was others he was fighting for. He fought for his life and the deaths of others. Such a sickening thought, but Anton reveled in it; that was the truth of his power.
|
|
|
Post by Athuraadd Fallonkreath on Mar 15, 2014 15:44:50 GMT
What was Athie doing? Was it possible that such things could take such a sudden hold on a person? Athie wasn't sure; he'd never been in this sort of position before. Matters regarding love and anything similar were just unspoken of back home, not in a sense that it was forbidden or anything, but purely because, well...it didn't matter. Not to Athie at least. He'd always assumed finding someone was a luxury, not a necessity. He'd never actively sought someone he could...could what? Call his own? Fall in love with? Oh gods...it sounded cringey whatever way he mentally phrased it.
...and yet why was it so difficult to shake such thoughts?
Athuraadd wondered how his brothers would cope with such matters. Nearly all of them had had girlfriends or flings before, heck, the two eldest brothers were married and no doubt had plans of children on the horizon. Just one scary decision after the other.
Just then, Anton interrupted his thoughts.
"Am I interested in anyone?"
Athie had to stifle an anxious gulp as his mind began to spin into overdrive. Whatever Anton's answer was, Athie would have to appear calm and collected and - ha ha fat chance of that. Regardless, he made a mental note not get his hopes up.
His hopes up?
Get a grip! Like you have a chance.
...chance at what? Oh gods just look calm and composed don't freak out for crying out loud.
Athie gave an awkward shuffle and looked up into Anton's eyes.
"Well, the woman back there wasn't my taste. Sex... I don't get it. It seems nice, sure, but why do people care?"
Now, of course Athie understood matters pertaining to...that. He wasn't a twelve year old for gods sake, but he was still bashful. All thoughts of an intimate nature were limited because -like Anton it would seem- it just never really bothered him. But still, he had an overly active imagination even at the best of time and even just hearing Anton mention the word 'sex' was enough to-
WHOA. Stop. Just stop. Don't even. Don't don't don't don't don't. Just...think about something else. Think about ...kittens or whatever. Just don't-
Mercifully, Anton opened his mouth to speak again, successfully breaking the irritating and cruel line of thought.
"You're attractive. Friendly, cute, and nice. You have a lot of stuff going for you. And even if you're weak at times, you care. I appreciate spirit. After all, without spirit, what am I?"
Athie bit his lip hard. That's not what I asked, Anton. Part of him wished his companion would just spit the answer out and end his mental torment....not that the words he'd spoken just now weren't unwelcome, in fact, Athie felt a deep red hue burn in his cheeks.
Still...if Anton was so willing to compliment him in such a way without any form of embarrassment or tiptoe-ing around the statement, did that mean he didn't...? Athie could hear the beating of his own heart; loud and heavy in his ears, resonating off the walls of his insides.
"But you asked if I'm interested in anyone?"
Athie gave a slow, dumb nod.
"That's a different question than who I find attractive. I don't know if I can answer that. Such volatile conditions of one's life make it hard to be interested in anyone at all."
Athie swallowed hard and sat up, so that he was now sitting cross-legged on the bed with Anton just in front of him. Is there any way I can make you interested? Well, he could try; he could just outwardly blurt everything out and be totally and utterly honest with Anton, or...he could do something else. What that alternative was, he didn't know. So he just sat there quietly, fumbling with his fingers, bottling everything up once more.
"I don't know. Attracted to? Yeah, lots of people. Interested in? I can't be. I'd rather not die on someone and have them miss me that much more."
There was that too; Athie knew next to little about the Drakonrhedi lifestyle, but he knew it probably wasn't an easy one; a life filled with the constant expectation of danger or worse, certain death. Yet even so...Anton, with all his strength and capability, seemed invincible in Athie's eyes. Indestructible and unmovable. But deep down, Athie knew that at the end of the day, Anton was still human and he was just as susceptible to danger as Athie was....so didn't that make them equal?
Athie slumped forward so that his forehead was resting on Anton's shoulder. It was a little uncomfortable for his spine, but he was just happy for the contact.
"I wouldn't mind." he said softly, and then, in that moment, everything seemed to pour out, "Well..obviously, I would mind, 'cause you'd, um...you'd be dead. But the way I see it..my life would be that much better for having known you." His eyes clenched shut, hearing the words falling out of his mouth. But even so, he couldn't stop them and -strangely enough- they seemed to come out more coherent this time, "I could easily die tomorrow, or the day after, or even drop down dead now. Thud. Just like that. And if I did..." He took a deep breath, "...I think that would hurt even more because I would've missed out on the opportunity to tell you -honestly and truthfully- how I feel."
At this, he sat up straight, eyes meeting with Anton's again, "If being a Drakonrhedi means your life is that much shorter, why not live it to the full just that little bit more?" Athie's voice was urgent, almost pleading, but he wasn't quite sure where all these words were coming from and how he was bringing himself to say it. There was a moment of silence, before the verbal floodgates opened again. "Because that's what I try to do," he explained, "-live every day like it's my last. Because at the end of the day, what else can someone like me do?" He held his gaze with Anton, as if he could find the answers within the other man's stare. The makings of a suggestion were there, but Athie couldn't bring himself to follow through, despite his own words. He suddenly let out a loud groan, running a hand through his mop of brown hair, "Why does this have to be so difficult?" he questioned aloud, more to himself than to Anton.
Just do it.
No...I can't.
Just go for it, what do you have to loose?
A little part of him was shaking. He was trying to take deep breaths but they came out shuddered and broken. He bowed his head slightly, but his eyes looked back up at Anton, "You asked me who it was I was interested in." he began, voice quiet, "Do you really want to know who it is?"
Tags: Anton NystromInspiration: my brain is half dead how i do i even inspiration help Notes: now kiss
forgive my lack of a good post
|
|
|
Post by Anton Nystrom on Mar 16, 2014 21:12:58 GMT
There was such an interesting point in Athie's words. Life was simply what it was, with however much you vowed to put in it. Was this all there was to life? Questions were hard. It wasn't the time for such questions; it was the time to answer much shallower questions. Shallow... Those waters were familiar. Athie gave words that Anton didn't quite understand. Words that hurt. Not hurt his heart, but his mind. Life? Shallowness? Depth? What was the point? To have fun? It seemed like an innocent enough point, but it felt so hard to attain. Fun was cruelty for Anton. Pleasure was friendship. How did he figure out what was worthwhile and what was simply too hard? These questions would be much more easily answered when the night was drawn and silence spread through the atmosphere. Then the questions of life could be answered, as the whole world simply slept in a peaceful sleep. "You asked me who it was I was interested in. Do you really want to know who it is?" Athie's voice was quiet, his body was shaking, and truth be told he seemed quite fearful. Of what, though? Anton? Athie had already said what Anton wanted to hear, even if it wasn't specified. Perhaps it would be better to play along, though. Or perhaps not. Anton smiled quite softly and shook his head, almost as if amused. It was the type of amusement that had surges of affection, as if this person was so ridiculous that he couldn't help but care. He leaned over and grabbed Athie into a gentle hug for a brief moment before letting go. "I think... I think you already told me." A small breath was drawn before Anton began again, "I can't say I think it's the best person to be interested in. He's not the nicest person around, you know. And sure, he may be fun and whatnot, but you should be careful." A playful look gleamed in Anton's eyes for a moment but quickly turned serious. "Perhaps I should be serious. I don't really know though, serious doesn't always work best...
"You're interested in me. I've been guessing at that for a while now, perhaps not as well as I could, but it was still rather... Obvious. You seem to find a lot of good things about me, and I definitely am capable of accepting the flattery. But you shouldn't be interested in me, you know. I'm not someone that's going to be able to provide any type of meaningful relationship. Let's assume I shared these feelings, all right? I would be stuck on the Drakonborg, dealing with various missions that were giving to me and finishing up my apprenticeship. I could die at any time, and the only way you would know is when it's announced.
"Perhaps I could be a good traveling partner. That would be an exciting prospect: getting you to live out your dream. I think that would be worthy of a relationship, to be able to let you do what you wanted to. But as for now... I'm not sure if it would be smart. I mean, I'm callous and cruel at times, and then switch to caring and friendly. You'll see shades of me that you will never have wanted to see, but knowing you, I doubt you'd care. But you'll not see much of me, unless you find yourself stuck aboard the Drakonborg.
"I don't know if it would be a relationship you would want. But for me, if I were in your position, I wouldn't. I would hate it. Don't get me wrong, I'm not saying that I'm interested in you. I'm simply saying that... I don't want you to find yourself stuck on Midgardborg because of me."That was a mouthful. Though Anton felt as if his emotions weren't properly expressed, it was all he could do. His mouth had stopped working seemingly, so he simply had to let it be and see what the results of his actions were. Oh, how he hated waited. He much preferred doing. Tags: Athuraadd FallonkreathInspiration: heheheeh what's inspiration Notes: Wow. I apologize for this post, Teapot. But I needed to get some type of reply out.
|
|